Tuesday, November 10, 2009

How I Created A Brand New Sin

Communion is a sacred ceremony in the Christian life. Christ asked us to take bread and wine in remembrance of His body and blood broken for our sins. In His wisdom He didn't ask us to do anything trendy like wear a certain outfit (like I would have). He asked us to take something life sustaining and to absorb it into our body like the Holy Spirit. The actions are timeless and maintained over the centuries. So when someone messes up Communion it is a Brand New Sin.

Ever since that day I ate the whole loaf of bread by mistake panels of theologians and ministers have been debating this Brand New Sin. No one has ever done this, not sure what to call it. What if it catches on and everyone starts eating entire loaves? It could cause total chaos through out the church. It would be like the miracle of the loaves every week.

I wish they would name it so I could repent and go on with my life.
Exactly how it happened was innocent enough but it is a story all it’s own.


I didn’t start out trying to create a Brand New Sin. Growing up I went to the Methodist church and at our Communion service we served little chicklet size crackers to represent The Bread. One weekend my best friend Janna invited me to attend her Youth Conference. When we went down front for Communion an Elder handed forth The LOAF. I had never considered what to do with a whole loaf so I took it, and chomped a large bite out of it like a hogey sandwich (not knowing it was the wrong thing to do). Then all my youthful wisdom decided they couldn't really want it back with teeth marks in it so …I took The LOAF to my seat with me, (still not knowing it was the wrong thing to do.) When I asked Janna where her LOAF was, she had to choke back a scream. What are you doing with THE LOAF? What,…I had THE loaf ??? (I just figured out it was the wrong thing to do.) Panic ensued. All I heard was a muffled command EAT IT. We started eating bread as fast as we could to hide the evidence.

I laughed so hard I could never look back up to the altar. I never knew how they finished out Communion service, maybe someone chopped up some breath mints they had with them? Maybe pieces of paper saying come back later? I no longer take Communion, I'm pretty much set…for life.


  1. I love it! I love it! I love it!!!! Excellent description. I can hear your voice telling this wonderful, happy story!!!

  2. Growing up C of C I can relate. We had those big crackers that were passed and I always wanted a bigger piece. Lord, forgive.

  3. LLL, I have heard this story for at least 20 years and it STILL makes me laugh! (Love the "come back later" paper!) Wonderful lead-in, too. Go, girl! (Binky)

  4. SO funny, oh my goodness!

  5. ...and God was completely entertained.

  6. Great stuff, Lori. : ) I saw a child drink down the whole "dipping vase" of grape juice once to the horror of his mother.


  7. Well, I was once taught that carbs are the enemy, thus eating the whole loaf would be like taking in the enemy! Very nicely done... Laughed my rear end off!


Comments are appreciated. If you have trouble posting your comments use Anonymous in the pull down list and leave your name. Thank you !