Sunday, November 15, 2009

DOG'S LIFE

My dog Chopper has a very good life: plenty of food, sleeps in a bed, lounges in the air conditioned house while he watches me sweat in the yard cleaning up his poop. How’s that fair? Every morning when we go for our walks he sniffs every bush doing what I call Reading The News. He investigates who has been here (security check), what were they eating (that he is not getting) and are they his type (any new gals in the neighborhood?) . In the afternoon we play games in what Chopper calls Human Fetch. I throw the ball, chase him while calling him names, then I retrieve the ball for another round. Some days I would like to be Chopper and watch me fetch for a change.

The older I get the more I realize so many people are going through the motions of life desiring only food, shelter, and companionship. It is a life without depth; it’s a Dog’s Life. To experience another dimension of life that God gives only to His humans is Life in The Spirit. It’s the opportunity to connect with our Holy Creator and set our souls free in a way that no other animal can do. A Dog’s Life maybe a good life, but it’s not the best life. It’s the difference in Reading The News or Experiencing The Good News

DOG CHEESE

My sister Sheri and my dog Chopper had operations on the same day. I spent my time running back and forth exhausted trying to take care of them both. To get Chopper to take his medicine I stuffed it in cheese. That day while administering his medicine I saw an extra piece of cheese on the counter, so of course I ate it. It was time to give Chopper his pill. ....Oh dear.... I searched the counters like Helen Keller, ...where's the pill Helen?! Then the uh-oh moment: the pill was in the cheese I just ate! I started to panic. I tried to give myself the Heimlich maneuver, which hurts by the way, didn’t work. I tried to gag myself with a spoon, didn’t work. Then tell myself gross-out stories, still didn’t work. Now what Cheese Lover?

I decided to let go of my pride and call the Vet’s office. "Hello, yes it’s me.. again, I thought my dog's medicine was a piece of cheese and I ate it" ...silence, then a mystified voice on the other end of the phone said "..well that's a new one, better hold." Mysty came back on the line and said "The vet said it won't hurt you …but your dog's not going to get any better". I would have laughed if I hadn’t punched myself in the stomach with the Heimlich maneuver.

I had to lay down the law with myself. I am no longer allowed to eat snacks while dispensing medicine. My new procedure is to play it safe and only stuff the medicine into food that I hate, like Vienna sausages. When Sheri heard what I had done I wasn’t allow to give her any medicine…. or Vienna sausages for that matter.

I could swear Chopper understood what the vet said that day. He has never given me such an aggravated look. You make one little mistake and everybody is the Pharmaceutical Police including the dog.
Yep, on a day like that a dog’s life doesn’t look so good.

6 comments:

  1. Love it, Loving! You're a riot, just like you are in real life (which is a nice way to write). Fine reflections, too. You're watching while you're living--but I knew that about you. Now a bunch more folks will know that, too. Lucky them!

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  2. It's so much fun to laugh while staring at my computer screen at work. Thanks for the treat, L3.

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  3. L's - you make me laugh out loud! Thanks!

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  4. This week we are having to give a pill to a friend's dog in the morning and evening and we are wrapping it in cheese.... I have not done this even ONE time that I haven't thought of you!!!

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  5. Lori- That Chopper story is fantastic. Very funny. Was the vet's assistant really named Mysty? All the better.

    I like your spiritual insight, and then I like when you just tell a story without worrying about whether it has to change a life. Good stuff. keep goin'.

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  6. This wasn't the pound of cheese was it?

    Loved this story. I think I will begin telling it at parties! "My friend Lori took her dog's medicine once, and..."

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